Tech, Teaching and Me

Trying to turn off my brain by writing it down

Just Keep Trying

on March 16, 2012

As our Capstone 1 course comes to a slow, detail oriented close, I look back on the last few weeks and realize many things. This course was an enormous amount of painstaking work. The time investment was intense. I thought the class would be a lot of work, but I really did not fully comprehend the work load I would be expected to produce. At the end of January, I had breast cancer reconstruction surgery, in the middle of the course. For a few weeks before the surgery, I anxiously prepared for the surgery and for a few weeks after, I recovered. Once I caught my breathe,  I realized I had a huge amount of work to do.Teaching, lessons, planning, and not to mention my family and home life takes up most of my time. Where was I going to find more hours in the day? I began trying desperately to dig myself out of the hole. Yet, each week, as I tried harder and harder, I felt as if I was failing more and more. And, honestly, my grades left something to be desired. There was more than once I thought it was time to quit. As my good friend and co-worker, Sr. Rita says, “My guardian angel was working overtime” because I remembered at the start of the school year (before Capstone courses were even a thought in my head), I had decided my motto for this school year would be “just keep trying”.

As I realized failure was a real possibility, I decided two things. First, if I was going to fail, it wouldn’t be because I had given up on myself. It wouldn’t be a lack of effort that would sink me. Second, I decided that even if I did fail this course, I would be on the winning end with the knowledge I had gathered. If the ultimate objective of any course is learning, growing, and adding a new perspective, then I would give myself a passing grade by learning as much as I could. In the end, I decided, I would determine if I passed. The rest would all be a bonus.

So, I failed until I succeeded. I still don’t know if I have passed the course. Or, if I have even been recommended to continue to the third part of the course. My grades improved each session after I began the “big dig”. After awhile, I finally felt as if I understood what was being expected, and I could deliver it (mostly).  I  know I feel as if I have succeeded. I have finished the majority of the work and am just waiting now for reviews and suggestions for corrections. I have learned many things that have improved my teaching and will make my classroom and my lessons much richer. I learned many digital tools, many new perspectives, and made some wonderful connections. Most of all, I learned that I am proud of me.


One response to “Just Keep Trying

  1. psmiley says:

    Hi, Kay! One of your “guardian angels” shared your blog with me! You have every right and duty to be very, very proud of yourself because I know everyone who knows you sure is!!!!!

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